New Path~

God has led me on many paths in my life, none of which I ever imagined happening. Some days I want to grab a hold of those paths and try to change them in ways I know I shouldn’t. God leads me through these paths for a reason. Though I may not like some that have been made for me, I know there is a reason.
Many changes have been made in my life and I can’t tell you how pleasantly pleased I have been with all of them. My strength and self-confidence has soared to the top of any mountain I have been to. Now mind you I am not the type to brag and be arrogant about myself or what I have. I do however have to say I have come a long ways and for that I am forever grateful for people that have come into my life and reminding myself that through Christ I can do anything I set my mind to. I don’t have to have others to rely on to accomplish my goals, they only help me through my journey in life..
I am now only 4 classes (counting these 8 weeks) away from my degree in Public Administration with a minor in Emergency Management, and Psychology. Almost there, and though my time has been so crazy busy at times I cannot see myself straight, I am making it. Making it to a goal I never thought I would achieve! Many people do not understand why I continue to add more to my plate, all I can say is I have to, to accomplish my schooling, my goals I have set out for myself. This schooling is something that is on my bucket list. Not much longer and I can concentrate more on relaxing, continuing to finishing my bucket list and do what God intends me to do. No matter what the path He leads.
So you see why I have not taken the time lately to write in this silly journal of mine. Why today? Well I have felt this need to write. To express my feelings that only you, journal, will understand. You and I have gone through a lot together. You have seen parts of me, through my writings, that anyone else wonders what they are about.. My hopes, my dreams, my deepest thoughts, some of my darkest hours, and my downfalls.
Another thing I have accomplished is losing my weight that I have wanted to since like for a long time and I weigh now less than I have since OOOO before I was married. I think a lot of layers have been shed since that marriage, military wife, mommy, divorced, in-between stage, of the unknown, and now yet another single woman who is finding her way through God’s love. I have lost a total of 44 pounds and descending. The weight may be harder to lose the smaller I have gotten but it has been worth every pain staking pound. This is my second goal weight (129) I am trying for! My second! Believe it? I know, I was so excited when I did reach that first goal let alone my second? Amazing! I knew every day I was working hard and looking at my wrist band ( it says strength on it) that I would make it through, with God’s help and understanding when I wanted to just quit. I knew I couldn’t…He didn’t allow me to.. I didn’t allow myself. I kept looking at that bracelet, taking a deep breath and pushing on and enduring every moment. I knew I had a goal to reach and no one was going to stop me from reaching it. This goes the same for a lot of other goals I have reached in my lifetime. Yesterday, I met my friend Claude at Aspen to work out, and of course he didn’t see that my 10 minute run was enough so we ran all the way from Aspen Merle Hay to the apartment building I live at and back. When we got back, I finished my stomach building and arms workout. Wow talk about a big workout! On July 17th I will be walking to help support “Walk for Military Marriages“ and I will be running in August for “ Iowa Governor’s cup walk/run.
Sometimes when you least expect it God reminds me, I need to trust in the process He has for me. There are things in my life that I have no control over. I also need to remember no matter how others treat me or see me as a person that I know who I am, and know the kind of person I am. I have my random quirks, I sometimes can’t sit still (God knows I try!) and I have to remember to be kind and loving because you will never know what storms the other person is going through. We all struggle in lives, we all have points in our lives we may need help from others. I have to remember I can’t fix everything but I am there to listen, care and understand when I can and when one will allow me in. I also have to remember that even though things don’t work out the way I want them to, God has the hand in everything.
See ya later Journal… I will write back when I can. 

Written By ~~Deanna Jo~~ 7/8/2010

Changes

I have tried many times to write. I don’t know why it’s been so hard lately just to type my little heart out. So many things have changed in my life. I have never been so happy . The time away from this place has been crazy busy. I now have 5 classes left! I am on the downhill slide and so glad to see it. So many people ask why I don’t finish my masters but to be honest, I need a break from school, from everything. Just to relax.. OOO the word relaxxx when I do get that time, it’s the best thing ever. I really enjoy the time I have especially when I am spending it with Todd. Amazing difference when I am with him. I have no cares in the world, which is the best feeling ever.
I am now entering a time of goals I have made and some of those same goals I have accomplished as well. What a great feeling! I am eating healthier and yes reached a goal weight of 40 pounds.. However…. I have lost another pound ( the last time weighed at the gym) so I am going to reach another goal. I am going for another goal of 21 more pounds! Why I chose that? Not sure sounded like a great number ! I have been working out with a personal trainer 3 times a week and trying to work out on my own, though I really like it when Todd and I are working out together. Always happy to be with him working out but of course I always enjoy being with him, period.
I also have a son that is graduating this year! Amazing how the time goes by so fast. He also made Prom King  … He is a great boy. I have two awesome boys. The move Trae and I have made is one of the best things he and I have done. Scottie is staying in Madrid to finish out his high school years . Trae is enjoying taking Japanese, new friends and a new church.
So my life has been really good and even when I mess up I still ask God to help me through what I need to do to make my life go better. I know there are going to be times when I have rough patches but no matter what happens I will always know that God has a plan for me. What is the plan? Not sure but whatever it is, its for the best. I’m still working to walk where I need to walk. I know that when I have that push from God to do the right thing that it’s what I have to do no matter how the situation may look.
Well this is a night I am actually going to bed a little later than normal. WOW I know Mr. Blog.. My time for sleep was only around 2-3 hours a night.. What is happening to you! Well truth is, I need this for me. Extra sleep, eating right, relaxing when I can.. Yes its for me.. Because I have learned to love me for me.. Because I am a beautiful person inside and out. Yes I know Mr. Blog you cant believe it, but hey get used to it.. It’s about time! I’m here to shine.. No more dreary times. If I write when I am up or when I am down, it still does not change the fact that I am who I am.. I have made a lot of changes in my life and let me tell you I love it. Yes at times it’s scarey.. or maybe its not. But I have enjoyed the ride so far and will continue.

Ok Off to bed. Good night Mr. Blog. I will try to write another night.

~~Deanna Jo~~5/10/2010