Baggage

The other day I was carrying my groceries up the 3 flights of dreaded stairs. I kept thinking why did I move to the third floor? Since it was cold outside I carried all my bags up except the gallon milk jug. That meant about 6 bags full of stuffffff. At about half way to the top I almost felt like I was so winded. Why? OOO I remember because of all the baggage and extra weight I was carrying. I bet it was at least 30 more pounds added to me. Nowwww I remember why I was so winded. I used to weigh this if not more a while back. Thinking back when I was carrying around a lot of extra baggage! It was not just the extra weight I was carrying around but I was carrying around memories and thoughts and words. Mean words, bad thoughts, so what did I do when I would remember those things? Eat. Eat and Eat.. So I would pack more baggage on than I ever fathomed. During my “healing” process and working out so hard I wore this bracelet on my wrist (still do) that says “strength” . I had my best friend pulling for me, and somehow God knew I was working so hard to heal myself. Amazing how He has that ability! Each day I worked out, even though there were times I didn’t feel so strong I kept pushing forward in disbelief that I could accomplish such a task as I was doing. I was healing from the inside out! Each time I would push that weight across the carpet and think I couldn’t do it, I would push harder so I would. Many times I would cry, many nights I would scream but I made it. There are times now when I look back and wonder how I had put so much drive into myself because sure I fall and slip but I pick myself up and push even harder because there is no way I am a looser. Was told that so many times in my life that nothing or no one is going to make me try to believe it no matter how hard they try. Well I made it to the top of those three flights of stairs and when I got to my door, I pushed through. Once I sat those down it reminded me of the weight which was and is continuing to be lifted off of me.. Because I believed in myself.. Of course I had people backing me, which means a lot to me, but I did what I did for me and I will continue.. Because I am wonderfully and beautifully made.




Psalm 139:14 (NIV)


14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;


your works are wonderful,


I know that full well.